If there was ever a “modern” god that I would worship: it would be caffeine. There’s a whole host of reasons, but really–I think in some respects lots of people already do in a way worship caffeine. Not consciously, I would never say that, but in an unconscious kind of way.


I seriously love caffeine, and that’s no exaggeration on my feelings. It’s a wonderful thing that wakes me up, keeps me functioning, and has great medical use for me. Having caffeine keeps my migraines from hitting nearly as badly; and it also can help keep me from getting them. If I don’t have some caffeine in the morning, I get (at the very least) nasty headaches–at worst a full-blown migraine. So caffeine does have a sort of medical use for me.

That’s just the…more “mundane” sort of thing for myself though. Other people are different, and I admit there’s probably other points behind why I’m fond of caffeine. But that’s just the part of it, I mean…for all that it’s my own medical interest that compels me to drink caffeinated beverages (all hail tea); even I can admit that I recognize the ritualistic aspects of it.

Modern God

A modern god for the modern world

Let’s be honest, the most blatant thing most people consider a god:

something and/or someone (deity, entity, spirit) that is being worshiped.

And what do people do with caffeine? In effect, they worship it. For how many people is caffeine their morning ritual? Cup of coffee before work. Coffee at lunch every day. Morning espresso. There’s a host of different ways this presents itself. And it is a ritual. Lots of people will even call it that, using the word in a manner devoid of any religious meaning. It’s a necessary part of the daily wake-up ritual that perhaps millions of people ascribe to.

But looking at it, the ritualistic manner that people treat their morning coffee, which is the most common ‘caffeine’ beverage that people think of, it’s rather interesting. There’s so many habits, rituals and actions that different people do; enough so that it’s interesting to compare people’s habits against each other.

I think it’s possible to argue that if there was a modern-created god, Caffeine might just be the forerunner for consideration. If one subscribes to the thought that modern gods come into being based on the needs and rituals and behaviors of worshipers, well then certainly caffeine is a god, and a very well liked one. Even if you don’t subscribe to that thought process, I think it would be hard to argue against it. After all, how many people will even joke about worshiping it? And if thought has the ability at any time to create new gods, well I submit that caffeine already exists as a god; perhaps below our consciousness, but it really seems to make sense.


I’ll admit that I’m in the group of people who joke about worshiping caffeine. Everyone knows at work that I don’t function without my first cup of black tea in the morning. And that’s two-fold. Not only just because it helps wake my brain up, but also because it’s my daily head-off to stop migraines. Because having a migraine makes it impossible for me to do anything else.

For me, black tea (caffeine) is a morning ritual. It’s not like I’m going to go ahead and worship caffeine by itself. It’s not something that fits in my world view. But, if I were to consider modern gods, caffeine would be a forerunner.*

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