Looking back on the last 5 years of blogging (this is a huge deal for me, I usually can’t keep a project going nearly this long) – I’ve changed quite a bit. There’s been a lot of change and upheaval in my life, anyway, but then add in spirituality, religion, belief and faith–it’s been a crazy ride of changes since I first started posting. I’m really actually surprised how much I’ve changed; probably only so surprised because I haven’t bothered to go back and read my initial posts in over 3.5 years. I’m sure if I had actually re-read them I would have realized it sooner. But then again, distance also serves to give quite a bit of insight.
5 years is a significant milestone anyway, I think. There’s not a lot of people who can keep a blog or project going for that long. I sure never thought I would manage it. When I started this blog, it was just an idea for me to spew my learning, thoughts and observations along with opinions on a site that I could then filter back through for my own use. That I’ve gotten so many people who follow along and like to read what I’m posting, well that makes me happy and I’m really rather honored. My little self-discovery and research project has been interesting to other people; that is more than I ever would have expected.
So I’m going to take a little look over just how I’ve changed in the last 5 years:
I started off identifying as an “eclectic pagan and witch”. That in and of itself was a huge change in my line of thinking ever since I started blogging back in March 2012. Nothing could be further from the truth any more. I’ve grown up so much since then, it’s somewhat baffling to go back and read my original posts. Not that I’m totally different, but there’s a huge difference in just what I used to think about myself, and how far I’ve come since then.
Take my introduction post, 02 March 2012: Initial Starting.
This was more original foray into online blogging. I’d never had a topical blog before. Well, I had my “pagan” tumblr that existed for all of 2 weeks before I buckled down and started writing here. And my tumblr was just reblogging all sorts of pretty photos or other people’s posts–and I think 1 or 2 things of my own long-form writing. But I figured out quickly that tumblr was not going to work as a real blog for what I wanted it to do. So I’m not really going to count it; considering I moved very quickly here.
I literally went into this blog not knowing at all what I was supposed to do, or what it was supposed to be. So I kind of just wrote this little winging it intro post, stating some pretty obvious things. And it also doesn’t really say a lot of anything, if I’m honest. Just your standard “hi, I’m here, please read me!” Which there’s nothing wrong with that, but it is a pretty blasé way to start writing, now that I look back.
Still, it was at least a start. Like I’ve mentioned a few times before–I actually created this blog on 01 January 2012. But then I couldn’t really get up the energy, the courage and the fortitude to start typing. Not for 3 months. I was, I admit, afraid of putting information down onto the internet in what to me seemed a less anonymous and secret platform than tumblr. WordPress at the time just seemed far more “official”, and so it took me some time to pluck up my own courage to put pen to paper, so to speak. But then I gave myself that humble little start there.
Back then I was perhaps a bit more afraid of rocking the boat. And really, I was not sure of a lot of things. That first month was a mix of using the old “pagan blog prompt” website prompts to figure out what exactly I was supposed to be writing as a pagan blogger, random little tidbits about myself, one or two actual think pieces of my own…a real hodge-podge of things. I did start writing about my family heritage also though, so that was a real step towards where I am today. I also apologized quite a bit for what and how I was writing. That’s a bit strange for me to look back on, because nowadays I don’t think I do that much. I mean, it is my blog, so I’m allowed to write whatever I want to. But I know back then, I was still struggling to discover myself, and I didn’t want to upset anyone (even the amorphous readers that I did not/might not have). Also back then I had a lot of upheaval and changes to my blog. I changed the name several times within 3-6 months, kept changing layout and posting style, just general changes because of how uncertain I really was with myself.
Nowadays, I’m more confident in myself. Sure, I update things as needed; I will change what I need to. And I’ll admit when things change or if my opinion, stance or beliefs have updated since I originally posted something, or originally encountered an idea. But I don’t need to constantly shift everything around and change 20 million little things about my blog or posting style. I still like playing with the theme I use to present my information (I think I always will like playing and testing new blog themes; it’s a fun little obsession of mine that I like to do, say 1 day every 3-6 months. Maybe something will look better, or sometimes I just really want a change; but this isn’t a bad thing, it’s fairly minor on the larger scale of things to change). But other than that, I’m pretty well settled in to how I post and what I post. I’m down to those things that interest me, that make me happy, and what I think is worth writing about. I also have more confidence in my own self, so I’m no longer feeling the need to continuously apologize for everything I’m writing, or how I’m writing out my thoughts and opinions.
I’ve posted over 340 posts in the last 5 years. That’s a huge accomplishment for me. I’m still rather proud that I’ve managed this much in my continuing quest to keep on writing and sharing my information and ideas. So I’m giving myself a little pat on the back congratulations–and I’m going to keep on writing along here. And I give special thanks to anyone who has popped in over the years, read through my ramblings, and then still stuck around to read more new posts from me. Thank you all!∗