So I just realized a bizarre compulsion attached to my OCD that I’d never realized before. See…I have favorite movie series’ that I like to watch (Harry Potter, LOTR, Indiana Jones, Star Wars). And once I’ve watched one of them, I just have to watch the others. I’d never noticed this before. But I, if I’m in control of the watching, pick the first in the series, and then go through in order. I can’t really help it either, it’s one of those things I just have to do, or I get, well antsy. It’s strange, because I’ve been doing this since I was a little kid. I would always watch movie series’, TV shows, or the like in chronological order. It would irrationally bother and annoy me if things were played out of order. So one after the other, always in order, that’s how I watch them. And I don’t ever stop at just 1 in the series, I finish from the point I start, or I pick a string (say 4 episodes) and watch in order.
However, sometimes things happen like today. Today on TV the channel played Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Which is the 4th movie. They didn’t play the other movies. So now I’m in the awful position of having seen movie #4 first, instead of 4th like it should be. So my brain is tripping the hell out and insisting to me that I have to watch them all in order now. Starting with Raiders of the Lost Ark and going on to Temple of Doom, and finally The Last Crusade. Then for good measure I’d have to watch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull again. — which is patently ridiculous. Because I can’t stay up all night to do this, and yet my brain is seriously spewing little thoughts on every way this could go wrong if I don’t just watch the movies in that order.
I’m going to watch the first one only. I want to watch it, outside my brain’s ridiculous compulsion demanding I watch all 4 in the correct order. So I’ll enjoy the first movie, and then stop. After all, no matter what my brain is insisting to me, I know nothing bad will happen if I only watch the one movie. I won’t end up dead, nothing terrible is going to happen to my cat. So I can just put those thoughts aside (or at least try damned hard to) and just enjoy watching the movie.
I just have to realize and work on this little compulsion. It helps a bit that I picked up on this being something that happens. I didn’t even realize it, until I switched away from watching TV after watching Indy 4 and realized I was getting anxious because it was just wrong. So I just have to work on this now that I’ve identified it as a compulsion I have.
I’m going to enjoy my 1 movie, and then sleep. It should be a first, good step.∗