So lately I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety. My mental issues lead to anxiety problems. Pretty much, I don’t do well with stress, as it causes me to freak out pretty badly. In all cases, the anxiety has been getting pretty bad lately, I’m sure it’s stress from school having been starting up this last month more than anything, and hopefully this month, as things settle down again, I might be able to get calmer again. What I want though, is a way to get things calmer, so that I can relax and just focus on myself without worrying so much. Still, the stress and anxiety can sometimes be overwhelming. I don’t always handle it absolutely the best, but I do work on handling things better than I would have even a few years ago. Stress isn’t really my best motivator (but then again, I think for no one)…so I suppose it isn’t shocking at all. The anxiety resulting from stress isn’t good at all, and it just serves to make me even more tense during school. That then just makes me even more stressed out, which piles on more anxiety. So it’s a huge cycle that is kind of hard for me to break.
What I’m thinking I want to do is figure out some measures to work on the anxieties. There isn’t a lot I can do, not that would work quickly, I know that. And I’m working on things in the “normal” way (through doctors/appointments/etc, I hate the term “mundane” for things that aren’t witchcraft/practice related, but I’ve yet to find a good term to use for anything in my daily non-practice-related life) as well, so it isn’t like I’m ignoring all the traditional ways of working on my problems. I just want to work on things in another way, perhaps for a boost that certainly cannot hurt me at any rate, and certainly might help me.
I’ve been considering working on some knot magic, working some calming intentions into it, to make perhaps some bracelets for myself. I like wearing jewelry, and it would be something I could wear without thinking about it, which would take the thought process out of it. And, given my friends’ curious natures, it would avoid quite a few questions that I don’t really want to answer about my mental health. If it is jewelry like a bracelet, I can wear it daily without any trouble or thought, which would be very easy for me. Also, I think, if it is convenient for me, I’m more likely to keep it up, which is bound to increase effectiveness. I don’t really do anything if it is going to take too much time out of my day to arrange it, so something simple like jewelry is something I can easily do.
Not that it will solve anything, because it won’t. I know myself far too well. However, perhaps even the help of something on my person will benefit me. It might be calming. I know my anxieties won’t just disappear, and the underlying issues aren’t just going to go away. They still exist, even if I have these. But, perhaps this will help me cope on a daily basis, to at least get through my days. So I’m going to be stopping back by my home tomorrow or Tuesday to pick up my yarns, crochet hooks and then I’ll start on these. After all, knot magic is something I’m comfortable enough to experiment with, even if I’ve never tried anything of this type before.∗