I think someone is messing with me. Not a person, and not messing with me in the sense of “oh, let’s cause trouble and problems” kind of way either. I’m more leaning towards some deity is trying to get my attention and I’ve just been too dense to see it. Because this is genuinely weird. And me being dense is no surprise, so it doesn’t surprise me if this is how they’ve decided to get my attention.
Stuff will disappear and reappear, moved around. Not just in the way of “oh, I just misplaced that.” More in the way of, I was looking for my pen, checked everywhere, even in my drawer, and then, not 5 minutes later, it shows up in my drawer when I gave up looking for it and went to just use the stupid pencil instead (I hate pencils for the record). In the exact spot it should have been to begin with, but wasn’t. And then, just papers out of order. Not major, just, 1 or 2 out of place, which I know isn’t me. I’m pretty fastidious about making sure my papers are all in order. And I know they’re in order when I leave class, but when I go to review them, nope, 1 or 2 are moved into the wrong section.
Then there’s just stuff not quite working. I couldn’t get the microwave to work (stupid really), even though it’s super easy. So I twist the timer dial to start it, and instead of the time running down from say 2 minutes to 0, it goes up from 2 minutes to 4. Lucky I pay attention, or I would have burned my food. Warmed up tea in the microwave not 2 minutes after this, and it was working fine, 30 seconds to 0, no problem. But this time I sat and watched it to make sure. Or, my computer inexplicably freezing up randomly. I haven’t lost anything. It’ll just freeze for like 15 seconds, and then be fine. I’ve checked for virus’, problems, etc – there’s nothing. My computer is pretty much perfect and it’s never done this before. All really dumb, super mundane stuff, I know. And I’ve checked for any normal explanation. But…short of me going crazy (which I’m going to have to say I’m not) none of this stuff makes much sense.
But then again…I’ve also begun to feel like there’s something almost watching me. Not in a creepy way, or it doesn’t seem creepy. Which it probably should. I know not to just think “oh, seems like something’s watching me, no biggy”, especially after the neighborhood I grew up in. But somehow this doesn’t scare me. It’s not really comforting either. It’s a bit like an itch, a bit annoying, but not dangerous or anything. And it’s even when I’m alone in my room with blinds shut, so I know no one is watching me, or in the room, but I still have that little twinge in my mind, telling me that something is there.
It’s just all frustrating. Because it’s minor stuff, and if I complain about it to my friends they’re just “well – you’re probably just imagining it.” Which, perhaps I am. I would tend to say I’m not though. I’m pretty sure that looking for a pen, it not being in the place I always set it, and then 5 minutes later, when I’ve basically just told the world “Screw this, I’ll just use the damned pencil”, and then *poof*, it’s in it’s spot. To me that’s more than me just not noticing where the pen was.
So now I need to look into specifics. See, basic mythology research is good. I like it. However, basic research into pantheons is probably not going to help me. I need to look into particular deities. Because my serious suspicion, and the thought that keeps coming to mind, is that someone is trying to get me to talk to them/acknowledge them, and I think this is a way of telling me that they’re tired of waiting for me to open up and figure it out without help. This is ridiculous too. Because 2 names keep popping into my head about this, and neither one is part of a pantheon I ever considered working with. So I’m looking into gods and goddess’ with a tendency for mischief or trouble-causing or for doing little things that are just…almost tricks I guess is how I could describe it, to gain attention. Which then veers into UPG, which I’m not experienced with at all. So this is going to be an adventure of sorts.
Because these 2 deities…well I have nothing to do with either, or their pantheons. But the names keep popping up. So I’m not sure. Because I doubt it’s both of them. So I’m debating as to whether it’s just that I know basics of these 2 pantheons, so the names are “familiar” and that’s why they keep coming into my mind. Or if I’m actually seriously supposed to look at both of them and see if either one seems to fit with all of this. It’s all a ridiculous little conundrum. I’m not so sure I want mischief right now. But then again, if someone is really wanting to contact me, there’s got to be a reason for it. I’m sure there’s probably some stuff out there for me to read, so I’m doing internet searches. Sadly all my mythology books are at home, 7.000 miles away, so I’ll have to do without those. Because I can’t really ask my mom to go reading through them for me. She’d have no clue what to look for, plus, I have a feeling that my answer might not be in my books.
Ugh. This is just ridiculous though. So specificity is the new game I suppose. Because something is seriously bothering me, and it clearly wants attention.∗