I’m thinking that it’s about time I try a new method. See, I’m feeling a bit lost. That’s why I haven’t posted a whole lot. I’ve also been busy with school. But I kind of feel like I’m at a stand still. So I’m going to attempt a new way of connecting. I used to hate meditation. It (I mean just the thought) was enough to drive me crazy. Just sitting there, doing nothing….wasting time. I know that isn’t what it is, but that’s how I’d seen it for the longest time. Not to mention the fact that I don’t do silence. I can, I enjoy silence even. But if I want to do something, to concentrate on something, I need something to focus on.
Everyone I know who meditates does it in complete silence. So I’d always thought that was how it had to be done. Definitely no way I could just sit and focus in total silence. I just thought the idea would never work. But…of course, meditation isn’t really just sitting there. And it’s about doing what works for me personally. That brings me to my idea. I’m going to try meditating a bit soon, probably this upcoming week. Just pop in some of my opera and classical music, focus, and see what I can’t do. After all, beyond the spiritual benefit, meditation might just be healthy for me in normal, mundane life as well.
But I’m taking this up because I’m noticing a pattern. I keep seeing foxes everywhere. Not just in nature, mostly not in nature (I do live in the middle of a city), but in other things. In books, online, on my Facebook, etc. I’m pretty sure that if it keeps popping up, it’s something I ought to take notice of. Fine enough, I can do that. But since all my normal methods of dealing with these kinds of things are proving ineffective, I think it’s time I try something new. So this is both a new trial to see what I can learn…and also a way to see what exactly I’m supposed to do about these foxes. I don’t think it’s any deity, at least not a specific fox-related one. The only fox-related deity I’m aware of is Inari, and I know that is not the source of this. So I’m sure it’s either totally symbolic as a fox-shape, or perhaps there’s some other meaning. In any case – I’m going to keep searching to see what I can’t learn about this.∗